


My Ruined Heart (Belongs To You)

by diddlydang



Series: The Ferdibert Collection [3]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Ferdinand, I said id use those tags didnt I, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Protective Hubert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 07:08:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20523974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diddlydang/pseuds/diddlydang
Summary: “I have to say, I never expected you and Ferdie, Hubie.”“We’re not together,” Hubert says to Dorothea.“Oh.” She’s surprised, eyes wide and mouth open. “That’s surprising. The way you two act around each other is very… couple-ly.”“I am aware.”“I thought the two of you were soulmates.”“Of course we’re not. I--”It is in this moment Hubert realizes he has never once touched Ferdinand's hand with his own. “I--”“What?” She gets a little closer to him, concern bleeding into her voice. “Are you okay? I was only teasing.”





	My Ruined Heart (Belongs To You)

**Author's Note:**

> ferdibert is my life now
> 
> Important note: soulmates are found through touching hands in this :)
> 
> Enjoy my lovelies <3

“I noticed you and Ferdinand are getting along rather well these days,” Edelgard says to him, her eyes glinting with amusement. “While I had asked you to quit fighting, I could only hope for this outcome.”

Hubert knew this was coming. He had been waiting for someone to point it out, even. “He is not the worst to be around.”

Her eyebrows rise, “If I had asked you what you thought of him years ago, I would be hearing nothing but complaints. Now I hear that you both take daily tea together?”

He also expected their friends to notice that. “Largely at his insistence.” He does not mention the many times _he_ had initiated said daily tea.

He does have a reputation to maintain, thank you.

“Uh-huh.” Her voice is dubious at best. “What about the other day when I saw you buying tea leaves? I know for a fact that you hate them.”

“I do.” Hubert offers no explanation. 

“You did not give _me _the tea.”

“I did not.”

“So you must have given it to_ Ferdinand _.”

“That is a reasonable conclusion to draw, yes.”

Edelgard smiles at him, looking less stressed than Hubert had seen her in years. “I always knew the two of you would make a good match.”

\---

“Is that a gift? Perhaps for someone you fancy?” Hubert teases, focusing on the beautiful shade of red Ferdiand’s skin turns instead of the clench of his heart at the thought of Ferdinand courting someone. 

“A gift, yes. For you.” Ferdinand says. 

“Hm. Who is the-- Did you say for me?” Hubert double-takes. “This coffee, it is a gift for me? Have I heard you correctly?”

The flush on Ferdinand’s face darkens but he nods. “Yes.”

The painful clench around his heart loosens and Hubert feels light. “I see. Take this tea, then.”

Ferdinand’s eyebrows scrunch together, “Are you certain? I would hate to deprive the intended recipient of such a fine tea.”

Hubert’s lips twitch, almost smiling. “That would be difficult to do, since I bought it with you in mind.”

“Oh, in that-- What? You were planning to give it to me all along?”

Hubert feels his face own flush when he responds. “That is what I said.”

“Really? Well…” Ferdinand laughs, warm and bright. Hubert is struck for what could be the thousandth time with how beautiful Ferdinand is, especially out in the sun. His hair waving gently in the breeze, eyes crinkled in mirth as he laughs loudly, tan skin a wonderful shade in the sunlight. 

Hubert laughs along, he cannot help himself. He has a hard time imagining anyone being unable to join in with Ferdinand. 

“I daresay this gives us the perfect excuse for a tea break,” Ferdinand says to him, cradling the tea tin in his hands like it’s precious. 

“Hmm.” Hubert hums, already turning to go to their usual spot. “Yes, I think you are correct.”

He hears Ferdinand’s footsteps speed up and he automatically holds an elbow out, slightly giddy at the arm that settles in like it was meant to be there. 

Like Ferdinand was meant to be with_ him _. 

\---

He is going to the library to return some of his books when he spots Ferdinand at a table. There is practically a mountain of books around him, quills scattered about with his various notes, the candle next to him running low. 

“Why are you still up?” He asks. Ferdinand jumps before turning to look at Hubert, eyes gleaming in the candlelight. His startled expression settles and a tired smile crosses his face. 

“Hubert.” Ferdinand sighs out his name. “Here to read?”

“I was about to head to bed.” He shifts the books in his arms. Ferdinand's eyes flicker to them briefly before returning to Hubert’s face. “You should do the same, Ferdinand.”

“Mm. Yes, I should.” Unsurprisingly, Ferdinand remains seated. “But I have important things to do. You understand, yes?”

“I do.” Hubert busies himself with putting the books back into their rightful places before moving to stand beside Ferdinand. “I also understand that getting the right amount of rest is important.”

Ferdinand's mouth opens a little and he looks up from his books to stare incredulously up at Hubert. “Really? _Y__ou? _”

“Mm. I once collapsed from exhaustion. Linhardt helped me.”

Chuckles escape Ferdinand, which turn into giggles and that betrays how tired the other man is. “I should have expected Linhardt to teach you the importance of sleep.”

“Indeed.” He places a hand on Ferdinand’s shoulder, gently. Amber eyes blink up at him. Hubert swallows down the affection threatening to bubble forth. “Ferdinand, you must get rest. I won’t have you get injured because you are staying up too late.”

“I’m sure it won’t be that bad.”

“How many nights now have you done this?” When Ferdinand only winces in response, he knows he’s got him. “You should treat your body better. I-- We need you at your best.”

He feels the sigh Ferdinand lets out under his hand. “If you’re truly that concerned for my well-being, I will relent.” He closes the book that he had been reading and stands up. Hubert decides not to comment on the cracking of Ferdinand’s joints. 

Hubert helps him put all his books away. When they are done, Ferdinand looks as though he were dead on his feet, eyes half-lidded and hair mussed from where he kept running a tired hand through. Hubert puts the candle out with his fingers and Ferdinand mumbles his thanks. 

“I’ll help you to your room.” The amount of swaying and shuffling Ferdinand is doing is greatly concerning. 

It is also a good excuse to walk Ferdinand to his room. 

“My thanks.” Ferdinand slips his arm into his and leans heavily into Hubert’s side. His orange hair tickles his neck and Hubert wants nothing more than to turn his head and breath in his scent, to stroke his hair and to hold him. 

He won’t. 

But he_ wants _ to.

Oh, does he _w__ant. _

The halls are empty as they walk through, only a handful of guards are still up. All of them smile as Hubert passes with a practically asleep Ferdinand. 

None of the guards look surprised. 

He supposes he should be bothered by how obvious he has been with his affection but he can't bring himself to be. If it allows him moments like these then he will gladly take the small smiles and sly looks everyone gives him. 

\---

“I have to say, I never expected you and Ferdie, Hubie.”

“We’re not together,” Hubert says to Dorothea.

“Oh.” She’s surprised, eyes wide and mouth open. “That’s surprising. The way you two act around each other is very… couple-ly.”

“I am aware.”

“I thought the two of you were soulmates.”

“Of course we’re not. I--”It is in this moment Hubert realizes he has never once touched Ferdinand's hand with his own. “I--”

“What?” She gets a little closer to him, concern bleeding into her voice. “Are you okay? I was only teasing.”

“I… I’ve never held his hand.”

“Really?” Dorothea huffs out a laugh. “I’m shocked. You both touch all the time but you somehow miss that one?”

“I wear gloves.” He says weakly. “As does he.” Inwardly, he is berating himself for being such an idiot. 

“Oh. Well, that makes sense.” She hums, contemplative. “Maybe you _a__re _soulmates then.”

The thought is a comforting one, that Dorothea thinks he and Ferdinand could be meant for each other in such a way. 

\---

It is always a constant on his mind now. 

He has never touched Ferdinand’s hand. 

Something so simple and yet he missed it. 

Now that he knows he is missing it he craves it. Ferdinand is always moving so there is always a reason to watch his hands. There are days when Ferdinand is dressed casually, out of his armor, but there are always gloves on. Hubert has never seen his hands without. He wonders if they will be soft or hardened from years of handling weapons. He wonders if there are freckles even on his hands. (This thought makes Hubert wonder if he has freckles all over his body, which takes him down a dangerous path that he quickly removes himself from.)

There are a few soulmate matches in their army. Caspar and Linhardt have been together for many years. Petra and Dorothea. Byleth and Edelgard. Felix and Sylvain. They are all vastly different but have one thing in common.

Every one of them is happy and in love. 

_ Hubert _is happy and in love. He does not need Ferdinand to be his soulmate to know this to be true, it has been a fact in his life for many months now. Whether or not they are soulmates hold little import to Hubert’s feelings. 

If he were to discover his soulmate was someone else tomorrow it would change nothing, he would still choose Ferdinand. 

Hubert had no desire for someone else. Looking back he could see that the space Ferdinand occupies in his heart had been empty before, and if he lost him it would be like losing a limb. No, a partner would be no good to him if they weren't Ferdinand. He didn't care if they were destined to be. 

It was always going to be Ferdie for him. 

Still, the curiosity remains. Is Ferdinand his soulmate? Does Ferdinand already know his?

“Ferdinand, I have a bit of an odd question for you.” He asks once they’ve settled into their tea time. “Have you met your soulmate?”

“For you, that _ is _ an odd question. One I will happily answer: No. I am happy to say I haven’t met them yet.”

“That makes you happy?” It’s a strange answer for someone like Ferdinand. “I would have thought you wanted to meet them.”

“I used to.” Ferdinand sets his tea down, not quite looking at Hubert. “But… If I found out that they were not the person I wanted them to be, I fear I would have to break their heart.”

_ Ah. _

Ferdinand still isn’t looking at him and his face is darkening the longer Hubert is silent. Hubert isn’t a fool, he knows that they have both been dancing around their feelings for some time. He wants to make a move, but they’re in the middle of a war and they are some of the highest-ranking members of the Imperial Army. 

He has waited longer for things less important. 

And it is not as though there aren’t those moments where it feels as though they are lovers. Right now, for example. Idly chatting while drinking together. The times where Ferdinand is training and turns to smile at Hubert, skin shining and hair up in a messy bun. The times where Hubert is working late into the night and Ferdinand comes in and either stays up with him or makes him go to bed. It feels domestic in all ways Hubert has grown to cherish.

“I feel the same,” Hubert says into his coffee. Ferdinand smiles at him, far shier than his other ones, but somehow it shines all the brighter. 

\---

That is not to say things are always perfect between them. Ferdinand’s stubbornness can come out at the worst of times and Hubert can be venomous and mean on his bad days. 

Ferdinand is also reckless. 

It is part of his personality Hubert wishes would change. 

He gets hurt and Hubert gets scared. And fear makes people act harshly. 

It was only a training accident. They were running drills in the rain, which is what causes Ferdinand to slip, his block failing as he flails to regain balance and Caspar hits him straight on with a gauntlet. 

Hubert’s heart jumps up into his throat when he watches Ferdinand fall onto his back with Caspar leaning over him, reaching a hand down and asking if he’s alright. 

“I’m fine.” Ferdinand’s voice is a little nasally from a broken nose, he leans his head back to help stop the blood. “I’ll be good to continue in a few minutes.”

“No.” Hubert steps onto the sand and strides over to Ferdinand, tsking when he sees the mess that has become his face. “You're done.”

“It’s not that bad.” Ferdinand retorts, hand flexing around his training ax. “Caspar, give me a few moments.”

Caspar looks between the two of them, clearly not wanting to get involved in what could be defined as a ‘lover’s quarrel’. “Uh... “

“Find someone else,” Hubert tells him, not looking away and delicately holding Ferdiand’s jaw in his hands, tilting his head slightly to observe. “Someone who’s not foolish enough to keep fighting when injured.”

Caspar nods quickly, practically sprinting away from the two of them. Ferdinand closes his eyes, lips turned in a frown and eyebrows furrowed. 

“What are you thinking?” He hisses.

“I was thinking that I can’t let something as simple as a broken nose stop me.” Ferdinand snaps at him. “If this happened to me in the field, I would have no choice but to endure.”

“I don't know if you happened to notice, but we are not currently on the field.” He begins leading Ferdinand out of the training grounds. “Every time I think you not completely useless you go and do something like this.” He regrets the words as soon as the last one leaves his mouth, the word _ useless _ ringing around his head like a bell. 

Despite this, he cannot bring himself to apologize. 

Ferdinand says nothing. Quiet. 

The silence stings worse than any angry words he could have said. 

When they reach his room the bleeding has mostly stopped but the bruising is beginning to blossom across his face. 

He sits Ferdinand on his bed and pulls out the medical supplies he keeps in his room. When he turns back to face Ferdinand he is alarmed to see tears in his eyes. 

“Ferdinand?” He asks hesitantly. 

Ferdinand sniffs then winces as it causes new blood to flow from his nose. “It hurts.” He offers. 

Hubert knows he is lying. 

“I…” He gets to work setting Ferdinand’s nose, washing away blood as he goes. “I didn’t mean to call you useless. You just... you get so reckless sometimes that I fear one day it will be the end of you.”

“I know.” His voice is quiet. “ I know, Hubie.”

“I will not apologize if those words save you from getting yourself killed.”

“No, I didn’t think you would.” Ferdinand sighs then smile, eyes still closed. “Is it strange that makes me feel better?”

_ No, _ Hubert thinks, _It means you understand me. _

“It means Caspar may have hit you harder than I thought.” Is what he says. 

Ferdinand laughs quietly and leans into Hubert’s gentle touch. 

This is one of the few times Hubert is upset he doesn’t know faith magic. He wishes he could make the pain go away faster. 

\---

Ferdinand’s father is killed. 

No one wants to talk to Ferdinand about it. 

Everyone wants to talk to _Hubert _about it. 

“How is Ferdie doing?”

“Is Ferdinand doing alright?”

“Why aren’t you with Ferdinand?”

He does not mention to any of them he hasn’t spoken to Ferdinand since the mission.

Not by choice. If he had it _his_ way he would be with Ferdinand right now so he could comfort him. But Ferdinand didn’t seem to want anyone’s company, Hubert’s included. 

He gives him a couple days to mourn in peace and then makes the decision. 

Ferdinand’s door is unlocked when he comes by. He is glad he didn't have to break down the door. Hubert imagines Ferdinand would be upset by that. 

Ferdinand is staring up at the ceiling, fingers laced together over his stomach. His eyes are empty and his expression is dead.

“Go away, Hubert.”

“You’ve been alone long enough.” The door closes behind him with a soft click. “You need some company.”

There is a loud sniffle from the bed that damn near breaks Hubert to hear. Ferdinand reaches up and swipes at the tears angrily before sniffing some more. 

“Oh, sweetheart.” The endearment slips from his tongue before he can stop it but Ferdinand doesn’t seem to hear it. He sits on the side of the bed and brushes the hair out of Ferdinand’s face. The younger man’s stoic expression crumples and Hubert instinctively tugs Ferdinand into a hug. The action breaks whatever was holding Ferdinand back because he starts crying harder, loud, wailing sobs into Hubert’s neck that wrenched at Hubert’s soul every time he screamed. 

He stroked a hand over Ferdinand’s wild mane of hair, unkempt from days of neglect, and ran a hand up and down his back. 

It is later that Ferdinand speaks to him, when they are lying in bed with Ferdinand in his arms and exhausted from his tears. 

“I did not like my father.” He admits, fingers tapping on Hubert’s chest. “We disagreed on many things and I knew he had done_ something _. Even so, I...”

“I know,” Hubert says because he knows Ferdinand. He does not need to say it. He is a man who's emotions burn so brightly, feels so strongly that he couldn't help but love his father, even if he did wrong. 

“Yes. I suppose you do.” Ferdinand shifts and moves to where he's hovering above Hubert, staring down at him, auburn hair creating a curtain around them. “You understand me, Hubert.”

“I do.” Hubert breathes out. It is on the tip of his tongue,_ I love you _, he could say it right now, reach a hand behind Ferdinand’s head and tug him into a kiss. The words burn his throat so sweetly, choking him. Instead of the kiss he longed for, he guides Ferdinand back down to his chest, fights to calm the fierce drum in his chest. 

He thinks if he listens closely he can feel Ferdinand’s beating just as hard. 

It isn’t until later he realizes Ferdinand’s hands were bare. 

That _his _hands were bare. 

\---

Ferdinand is not quite himself after that. He loses some of his optimism after seeing firsthand what his father had done. 

He is still Ferdinand, still the man Hubert loves, just a little darker, a little more cautious. 

The change is not obvious. Hubert doubts anyone outside their friends notice it. It is subtle, little quirks that were taken for granted before are now oddities, rare things that have to be sought after instead of given. 

The easy grins and playful laughs still come but his opinions are no longer loud. His words are quieter, a little more unsure know that he has been forced to see what his father had blinded him from.

He is still Ferdinand, just a little bit older. 

Hubert still loves him.

\---

“How are you and Ferdinand, Hubert?” Edelgard asks him when he’s doing her hair.

“We are fine. Although you shouldn’t phrase it like that. We are not together.” _Yet, _ Hubert thinks

“Yet.” She says like she can read his mind. “I cannot fathom what you are waiting for. It’s obvious you are both in love.” He hums in response and she continues. “You are surprisingly open with him, Hubert.”

“Yes,” He agrees, brushing out the white strands. “I know it seems strange.”

“Strange, yes. But in a good way. You both seem so happy when you are together.”

Hubert has learned many things over his life, many of them being ways to hurt or kill someone. He does not hide this and so he does not see why he would hide his love. It isn't something he's ashamed of. 

“I like to think I make him happier.”

“Oh, he is. Whenever he spots you he practically beams.” Edelgard has the sort of fond disgust a sibling would. “Honestly, why are you not together yet?”

“We are your two advisors and we are currently embroiled in a war that will determine the future of an entire country.” 

Edelgard snorts, unimpressed with his answer. "You'll do something once the war is done?"

“I plan on it.”

“Good. You both deserve to be happy.”

\---

It was all wrong. 

Hubert stares down at Ferdinand. The man in his lap stares back up at him, eyes clouded with pain and a heavy sheen of sweat is glistening across his brow. Normally tan skin looks pale, especially with the added contrast from bloodied auburn hair. 

He curses, pressing more insistently onto his side only to have to wrench his gloves off once they become completely soaked with blood -- Ferdinand’s blood, he thinks, _ Ferdinand’s blood Ferdinand’s blood Ferdinand’s blood-- _and quickly resuming pressure, trying desperately to ignore the sickly feeling of Ferdinand dying beneath him. 

“Hubie…” The man beneath him says, the groan he lets out a horrible mix of a wet cough and a choke. “My gauntlets.” Blood froths at his lips and he repeats himself. "My gauntlets, Hubie."

“What are you prattling on about now, you fool?” Hubert snaps.

“Your hand.” One of Ferdinand's arms makes an effort to reach for Hubert, but it falls halfway into the motion. “I’ve never touched your hands.”

“Do it later,” Hubert growls.

“I would like to.” Ferdinand agrees. “But… take my gauntlet’s off now, just in case.”

Hubert is against taking his hands off the wound for even a second but he does not have the power in him to deny Ferdinand. He has never had the willpower to deny him. 

Fortunately, he knows Ferdiand’s armor like his own, deftly undoing the straps even with shaky, slippery fingers. 

He can feel more blood pooling beneath his knees, collecting into a horrible puddle. It's terrifying that he can feel Ferdinand's life draining into the grass below him, terrifying that he is powerless to stop it. 

Hubert is terrified. 

“There.” He practically tosses the gauntlet aside and quickly resumes trying to staunch the bleeding. “Happy?”

Ferdinand’s hand lies limp on the grass, “No,” He says. “I wanted to hold your hand, remember?”

Hubert readjusts so he can cover more of the puncture with one hand, whispering apologies at the pained noises. He leans slightly over Ferdinand and reaches for his hand and then--

A tingling sensation races up his arm at the contact. 

Ferdinand; the fool who charges headfirst into battle with a smile on his face, who made Hubert coffee, who unknowingly clawed his way into Hubert’s black heart with dimpled smiles, who spent quiet evening’s in the library with Hubert, is his soulmate. 

The man who Hubert had fallen for so many months ago was his _soulmate. _

A shaky smile spreads across Ferdinand’s lips, white teeth stained red. “I had always hoped you were mine.”

A sob erupts from Hubert’s throat. “I was always yours, sweetheart. Don’t--” He leans further over Ferdinand, choking on his words. “Don’t leave me, please.”

The grip Ferdinand's hand had on Hubert’s slackens, fingers giving out. “I don’t want to.” 

“Then don’t.” He begs, panic-stricken. “Don’t do this to me, sweetheart.”

He watches Ferdinand’s eyes droop, watches his breathing catch and him shudder more frequently. 

\---

He wishes he had said something earlier.

\---

Ferdinand doesn’t die, but it was a close thing. 

He cries when Dorothea tells him he'll be okay.

\---

Manuela tells him that the soulbond ended up saving Ferdinand’s life. She says something else but he can't focus on the words. 

\---

He has Ferdinand moved to his room once he’s stabilized. He wants to be able to take care of him and feels safer knowing he’ll be close. 

Mostly he just wants Ferdinand close by.

\---

Ferdinand wakes up when Hubert is replacing the cold rag on his forehead.

“Hubert.” He says. 

“If you ever do that again, I’ll kill you,” Hubert tells him. He sits on the bed next to him, reminiscent of when Ferdinand's father had died and Hubert went to check on him.

“You’ll kill _me_? Your soulmate?” Ferdinand grabs Hubert’s hand and interlaces their fingers, smiling at the soulbond humming under their skin. “I think not.”

Hubert holds back a sigh, “No. But I will be very upset with you.”

“Ah. Then I shall endeavor to not get stabbed again. It will be difficult, seeing as I enjoyed it.”

“Shut up, Ferdie,” Hubert says before leaning in and finally,_ finally_ kissing him. Ferdinand, even though he is hurt, meets and responds eagerly, hands moving behind him to sit up in the bed. Hubert helps him up, holding the small of Ferdinand's back and supporting him. 

“I love you.” Ferdinand whispers to him between kisses, “I love you, Hubert.”

The words sprung up gladly, "I love you too, sweetheart." He sighed into Ferdinand's mouth, relieved to finally tell him how he felt. "I love you so, so much." 

**Author's Note:**

> I made a fandom twitter btw its @diddlydang1 if anyones interested 👀
> 
> Yall already know what im about to write in the notes
> 
> Edelgard: Ive never seen people who arent dating somehow also be dating. You keep suprising me
> 
> Hubert: Shut the fuck up we're in love
> 
> \---
> 
> Hubert: Ferdinands my soulmate :)
> 
> Ferdinand: Huberts my soulmate :)
> 
> Everyone else: Yea are we supposed to be surprised?? Lmao ok
> 
> \---
> 
> Edelgard: So you and Hubert huh :)
> 
> Ferdinand, crying: Oh my goddess I love my boyfriend please listen
> 
> Edelgard, someone who has been waiting years for this: Tell me everything please and thank you


End file.
